Sinners

Have you ever noticed that we only hear stories about really awful sinners being forgiven for their sins and never about those "smaller" sins?  Peter is forgiven for denying the Son of God three times and then we call him the first pope.  Criminal crucified next to Jesus?  I don't know what he did to get up on that cross but it must have been heinous.  He gets to see Jesus in the kingdom.  The whole crowd that condemned Jesus to death?  "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they are doing."  I know the reason for these stories is obvious:  if God forgives these sinners, surely he will forgive us.  Then again, my Protestant friends believe that all sins are equal.  Yes, they are all bad because they all come from us purposely turning away from God.  I never quite understood what Protestants meant by "equal" though.  So, it's just as bad to lie as to murder?  Well I feel awful for lying but my goodness, it makes murder seem not so bad.  I suppose it's away of pointing out that even what we think is the smallest, least noticeable sin is an affront to God.  Any sin means that I, a person who claims to love God above all, made a conscious decision to ignore his wishes.  The little girl in me can't help but think, "It's like disobeying daddy but a bajillion times worse!"

I don't know what the purpose of this post is.  I was just thinking about sin and such since Easter is coming up.  It's a sad time but really hopeful too.  I hated Good Friday as a kid.  I was thought, "The only good part is that I don't go to school."  I mean, we had three hours of silence in the house. (To commemorate the approximate three hours that Jesus was on the cross)  If you know me, you know that isn't easy.  I tried to pray or read the Bible but three hours was just too long for that.  I always ended up taking a nap.  This didn't help because then I just felt so guilty for not being able to spend a measly three hours with God.  On the other hand, I was able to understand the agony in the garden.  If I felt bad falling asleep for a couple of hours during a time of meditation, how guilty did the disciples feel when the feel asleep when their Lord, teacher, and friend asked them to spend some time with him in his time of need?  Then, next thing they know, he's on a cross dying.  Yet they saw him resurrected and from that joy were able to understand why Jesus had to die and why his message was so important to tell.  Every Good Friday I wait anxiously for Easter Sunday to feel that relief that I too have been forgiven; to know that there is nothing I could do that God won't forgive me for if I am truly sorry.

I was going to tie this into Milagros de Nuestra Señora but I cannot remember how.  All the stories have a main character who is a big sinner but loves Mary and prays to her often.  Just like our mothers here, she will do anything to help her child.  It's impossible to stop loving someone who looks up to you and loves you so innocently.  Does this innocent love for Mary show their ability to be innocent?  Perhaps.  I will have to think more about this.  I should really look to see if the sins in the book are sins of omission or of commission.  I've been intrigued with these two classifications ever since I read the short story Pecado de Omisión (Sin of Omission) by Ana María Matute a few years ago.  Which is worse?  Or do the Protestants have it right?  Are all sins equal?  That answer will have to wait for another day.

 Dalí's painting Cristo de San Juan de la Cruz