"La Virgo María, madre del buen Criado"

I was re-reading Berceo's introduction to Milagros this morning. It's so beautiful. You think that he's just rambling about a beautiful prado where he rested under the shade of a tree. However, he is able to tie this beauty to Mary. He's thinking about how pilgrims love to find these meadows to rest. He then thinks about the devotion to Mary that these pilgrims, and really everyone, have. He talks about Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, Saint Augustine, Gideon, David, and Aaron. They all were devoted to Mary. This veneration, obsession even, is nothing new.

I really must point out my favorite stanza. I will not translate it because I feel like I cannot truly capture the beauty of Berceo's writing.

Ella es dicha fuent     de qui todos bevemos,

ella nos dio el cevo     de qui todos comemos;

ella es dicha puerto     a qui todos corremos,

e puerta por la qual     entrada atendemos.

That stanza captures what Mary is to her children. Yes, Jesus saved mankind from Hell but he can feel so far away and too mighty for humans to be worthy of bothering him. Mary is humble, she is a mother. She is the font out of which sinners drink. She gives rest to the weary, possibly in a beautiful prado with perfumed flowers. She is the first step to God toward which people in medieval Spain went. They were comforted by the idea of such a perfect haven. Who wouldn't be? Berceo wrote these stories to continue a long standing tradition of telling tales of Mary and of attributing to her how simple men were able to survive the impossible. Sounds like a perfect reason to write if you ask me.

Mistakes

Having gotten to later miracles in Milagros de Nuestra Señora, I have found myself very wrong about a few things. Firstly, not all of the miracles have a male as a sinner. This makes the feminist in me very happy. However, I do have a few thoughts on the significance that miracle #21 has a pregnant religious woman. She is the sinner in that story. My modern mind doesn't like the fact that the man is not seen as a sinner. However, I can appreciate the fact that the woman had taken very specific vows of chastity. It still irks me slightly. Secondly, not all of those who find themselves receiving help from Mary are Christian. I don't know how I feel about this. Spain has had some anti-Semitic feelings for, well, most of its history. My gut reaction is to say that it is anti-Semitic because the author pins a Jew for sinning but then I realize that the author pins everyone for sinning. Using a Jew is just to illustrate one of the basic ideas of Milagros: everyone can be, and is, a sinner. Jews, Christians, men, women, priests, and nuns are all sinners.

Well, I need to finish up an annotated bibliography for tomorrow. It's the first one I've ever done. It's kind of a pain in the neck but I can definitely see the appeal. It's great to have a run down of books that could be useful for a paper (and why) and a list of books that have nothing to do with the paper. It's hard to really say which ones are "useful" right now because I'm still trying to figure out what exactly is my thesis. Then again, I think that's why I'm making an annotated bibliography. One of my former teachers advised us that we had to go through a lot of books and articles to get an inspiration for the paper and then we could think about our topic. We had to wade through books on Don Quixote and then, by reading some, find what interested us. Then we could go back and pick the books that discussed in detail the topic we had decided upon. That was the first teacher that ever told me how to start a research paper. I am very grateful for that lesson.

Mary: Defined by Men

While reading all of these books about Mary, I've noticed a pattern. She is always defined by her relationship with Jesus or Joseph. No one seems to want to talk about who she is; everyone talks about who she is to her family. Now, I do understand that when looking at the Bible there isn't a lot of information on Mary and that is understandable. The New Testament revolves around Jesus, as it should. However, why haven't people even speculated on Mary as an individual? Marianism is prevalent even today as you can see with the many religious orders devoted to her, the religious rituals around her, and even simply the prayer The Hail Mary. I have been told my whole life that I should imitate Mary and from that I have become a slight Marianist myself. However, I can't help but notice that other than the obvious wonderful qualities such as chastity, devotion to God, and humility, this seems to imply some qualities that I am not sure I really like. To be like Mary, do I also have to be defined by the men in my life? Do I have to be "Joseph's wife" and "Jesus' mother" and nothing else? I beg my readers to understand that I know these are wonderful and honorable titles. Being the mother of God incarnate is the highest honor for a woman. However, I feel like scholars have mostly ignored any other titles she bears. Even in Milagros she is looked at via her connection with a man. Look at her apparitions in Fátima, Portugal, Our Lady of Light, or in Lourdes, France. Why are we not truly amazed by these? Why are Christian children not taught this in Sunday school? It is so wonderful to me to hear of my religion being truly alive! Am I the only woman who feels that these apparitions by Our Mother are as significant to our religion as the work of the original apostles? I feel that the only reason they are not given as much respect is because they do not include a man.

It is these Marian apparitions that bring peace to me. She told Sister Agnes Sasagawa in Japan (1973) that "Those who place their confidence in me will be saved." Berceo certainly was thinking that when he was writing Milagros. Maybe Berceo helped boost the popularity of seeing Mary as a holy entity by herself. After the middle ages we seem to see more and more the works of Mary. Maybe while living in our world she was simply a servant of God, a woman devoted to the men of her family. But now, as part of the community of saints, she is Our Mother. She is loving and protecting us by herself just as every mother loves her children. Maybe we have seen her works more because we need to believe in her more. Maybe this world is searching for it's true mother and she is desperately trying to tell us that she has always been here.

A Feminist Mary

While at the library today, I had a pretty cool little thought about Mary (mom of Jesus, not Magdalene). In Milagros de Nuestra Señora, when we strip every story down to the basics, they always have  a woman (Mary) save a man (a sinner). Considering that this was written in medieval Spain, that's a pretty big deal. It has that feminist "anything you can do, I can do better" feel to it. Mary confronts Satan over the souls of these men and always wins. As my boyfriend pointed out, Mary in the Bible is exactly what feminists are fighting against: being type-casted as a mother, homemaker, virgin, quiet, obedient to the male rulers in her life, etc. In Milagros, she is a feminist hero. Damsel in distress? No, we have idiotic men being saved by Mary. Yes, she still is very feminine but not in the derogatory way of being weak and without a backbone. In a polite medieval way, she is kicking a$$ and taking names for those who love her. She doesn't need any help from a man at all. That's not to say that I don't respect Mary for being humble, chaste, and a mother. I just think it's nice to see her in a more powerful role. Instead of suggesting Jesus helps (wedding at Cana), she takes charge herself. Man, thinking about all of this woman-power makes you want to burn a bra.

Can't Sleep

I can't seem to fall asleep so I thought I might write something in here. First off, I have to point out that I can hear the June bugs flying against the window trying desperately to get in. It's really creeping me out. I hate bugs.

So, I was watching a show where actors in a public place act out a true to life scene to see how people will react. One was done in a town not far from me where a bakery worker refused to serve a woman because she was "dressed like a terrorist" (that is to say, wearing a hijab). Half of the people spoke up against the worker. The other half gave him a thumbs up or told him that he was doing the right thing. Disgusting.

The reason I bring this up is that a more recent episode had a man interviewing to work at a restaurant. The interview was being held at the restaurant at one of the tables on the floor. The actor playing the manager tells the man that he cannot wear his yarmulke to work. The actor playing the interviewee says it is illegal to require him to take off religious garb. (This is very true, by the way) This got me thinking.

Lay Christians are not known for any religious clothing with the possible exception of the mantilla. (Here's the wiki article for a brief overview)A few, such as myself, wear scapulars. Few people notice this little "necklace" that I wear and most that do see it mistakenly call it jewelry. I have seen some whose scapulars are large and ornate with color embroidery of Mary. Mine is small and quite simple. One piece of cloth as a script "M". The other has a small drawing of Mary. I feel that this better embodies the idea behind this scapular. It is to remind me of my devotion to Mary and my aim to be more like her: modest and completely faithful to God. There is no need for everyone to see what I hold in my heart. Anyway, it's difficult to explain why I think wearing this will help me gain favor with Our Lady. I don't know how I would respond if an employer asked me to not wear it. I would feel naked and vulnerable. I would worry what Mary would think of me if it was so easy to convince me to take off this symbol of my love. I think it would feel almost as odd as a married person being required to take off their wedding ring. What it symbolizes is so much more important than any job or any person.

Well, my brain isn't getting anywhere past this. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel like the sinners in Milagros de Nuestra Señora. I have this crazy idea that if I love God and Mary and show that through daily prayer that I might have a chance to be forgiven of my sins when it is my turn to be judged. Then again, I might be off my rocker. It's always a little hard to tell with me.

Sinners

Have you ever noticed that we only hear stories about really awful sinners being forgiven for their sins and never about those "smaller" sins?  Peter is forgiven for denying the Son of God three times and then we call him the first pope.  Criminal crucified next to Jesus?  I don't know what he did to get up on that cross but it must have been heinous.  He gets to see Jesus in the kingdom.  The whole crowd that condemned Jesus to death?  "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they are doing."  I know the reason for these stories is obvious:  if God forgives these sinners, surely he will forgive us.  Then again, my Protestant friends believe that all sins are equal.  Yes, they are all bad because they all come from us purposely turning away from God.  I never quite understood what Protestants meant by "equal" though.  So, it's just as bad to lie as to murder?  Well I feel awful for lying but my goodness, it makes murder seem not so bad.  I suppose it's away of pointing out that even what we think is the smallest, least noticeable sin is an affront to God.  Any sin means that I, a person who claims to love God above all, made a conscious decision to ignore his wishes.  The little girl in me can't help but think, "It's like disobeying daddy but a bajillion times worse!"

I don't know what the purpose of this post is.  I was just thinking about sin and such since Easter is coming up.  It's a sad time but really hopeful too.  I hated Good Friday as a kid.  I was thought, "The only good part is that I don't go to school."  I mean, we had three hours of silence in the house. (To commemorate the approximate three hours that Jesus was on the cross)  If you know me, you know that isn't easy.  I tried to pray or read the Bible but three hours was just too long for that.  I always ended up taking a nap.  This didn't help because then I just felt so guilty for not being able to spend a measly three hours with God.  On the other hand, I was able to understand the agony in the garden.  If I felt bad falling asleep for a couple of hours during a time of meditation, how guilty did the disciples feel when the feel asleep when their Lord, teacher, and friend asked them to spend some time with him in his time of need?  Then, next thing they know, he's on a cross dying.  Yet they saw him resurrected and from that joy were able to understand why Jesus had to die and why his message was so important to tell.  Every Good Friday I wait anxiously for Easter Sunday to feel that relief that I too have been forgiven; to know that there is nothing I could do that God won't forgive me for if I am truly sorry.

I was going to tie this into Milagros de Nuestra Señora but I cannot remember how.  All the stories have a main character who is a big sinner but loves Mary and prays to her often.  Just like our mothers here, she will do anything to help her child.  It's impossible to stop loving someone who looks up to you and loves you so innocently.  Does this innocent love for Mary show their ability to be innocent?  Perhaps.  I will have to think more about this.  I should really look to see if the sins in the book are sins of omission or of commission.  I've been intrigued with these two classifications ever since I read the short story Pecado de Omisión (Sin of Omission) by Ana María Matute a few years ago.  Which is worse?  Or do the Protestants have it right?  Are all sins equal?  That answer will have to wait for another day.

 Dalí's painting Cristo de San Juan de la Cruz

Repurposing

I'll admit it. I'm awful at keeping up with blogs and diaries. So, yet again, I'm using this blog for a new reason. Or rather, I'm not going to put a big ol' label on how I'm going to use this. When I want to write, I'll write here. My thesis director suggested that I write my ideas for my thesis on a blog so that I can see my overall thought process and so that both of us can access these ideas quickly.

While I'm thinking about it, let me attempt to explain my vague idea on my thesis. I want to write about Milagros de Nuestra Señora. It's a series of stories from medieval Spain about sinners who are saved by the Virgin Mary because they were devout to her. As a catholic, this is very close to my heart. I love Mary. Pretty cool lady, if you ask me. Anyway, as for the thesis, I want to discuss the affect of Mary in Spain or how these stories are still relevant today and why they are so popular. I want to really focus on Mary. I've found a prayer that is a petition to Mary that might bring some inspiration. We'll see.

In other news, the semester is drawing to a close and I have so much to do! I have three papers to write (all in Spanish) and loads of studying to do. Today we had no class so I took the time to clean up my place, do laundry, organize my work space, go to church for a rehearsal, and get ready for a presentation tomorrow. The rehearsal is for Palm Sunday. I get to be the narrator for the Passion! I'm so excited! I just have to figure out how to say 'Cyrenian' and where the emphasis is on 'Golgotha'. The presentation tomorrow is a little "world fair" for a nearby elementary school. Myself and a few other grad students will be representing Spain. I'm bringing my fan and music box plus the books Don Quixote and Poema de Mio Cid. As you may guess, I will be showing LOTS of photos from my trip there. :) It sounds like fun and I might be dragged into attempting to do the flamenco.

Well, I have plenty of work I ought to be doing. We'll see when the muses next strike me.