Mary: Defined by Men

While reading all of these books about Mary, I've noticed a pattern. She is always defined by her relationship with Jesus or Joseph. No one seems to want to talk about who she is; everyone talks about who she is to her family. Now, I do understand that when looking at the Bible there isn't a lot of information on Mary and that is understandable. The New Testament revolves around Jesus, as it should. However, why haven't people even speculated on Mary as an individual? Marianism is prevalent even today as you can see with the many religious orders devoted to her, the religious rituals around her, and even simply the prayer The Hail Mary. I have been told my whole life that I should imitate Mary and from that I have become a slight Marianist myself. However, I can't help but notice that other than the obvious wonderful qualities such as chastity, devotion to God, and humility, this seems to imply some qualities that I am not sure I really like. To be like Mary, do I also have to be defined by the men in my life? Do I have to be "Joseph's wife" and "Jesus' mother" and nothing else? I beg my readers to understand that I know these are wonderful and honorable titles. Being the mother of God incarnate is the highest honor for a woman. However, I feel like scholars have mostly ignored any other titles she bears. Even in Milagros she is looked at via her connection with a man. Look at her apparitions in Fátima, Portugal, Our Lady of Light, or in Lourdes, France. Why are we not truly amazed by these? Why are Christian children not taught this in Sunday school? It is so wonderful to me to hear of my religion being truly alive! Am I the only woman who feels that these apparitions by Our Mother are as significant to our religion as the work of the original apostles? I feel that the only reason they are not given as much respect is because they do not include a man.

It is these Marian apparitions that bring peace to me. She told Sister Agnes Sasagawa in Japan (1973) that "Those who place their confidence in me will be saved." Berceo certainly was thinking that when he was writing Milagros. Maybe Berceo helped boost the popularity of seeing Mary as a holy entity by herself. After the middle ages we seem to see more and more the works of Mary. Maybe while living in our world she was simply a servant of God, a woman devoted to the men of her family. But now, as part of the community of saints, she is Our Mother. She is loving and protecting us by herself just as every mother loves her children. Maybe we have seen her works more because we need to believe in her more. Maybe this world is searching for it's true mother and she is desperately trying to tell us that she has always been here.