Can't Sleep

I can't seem to fall asleep so I thought I might write something in here. First off, I have to point out that I can hear the June bugs flying against the window trying desperately to get in. It's really creeping me out. I hate bugs.

So, I was watching a show where actors in a public place act out a true to life scene to see how people will react. One was done in a town not far from me where a bakery worker refused to serve a woman because she was "dressed like a terrorist" (that is to say, wearing a hijab). Half of the people spoke up against the worker. The other half gave him a thumbs up or told him that he was doing the right thing. Disgusting.

The reason I bring this up is that a more recent episode had a man interviewing to work at a restaurant. The interview was being held at the restaurant at one of the tables on the floor. The actor playing the manager tells the man that he cannot wear his yarmulke to work. The actor playing the interviewee says it is illegal to require him to take off religious garb. (This is very true, by the way) This got me thinking.

Lay Christians are not known for any religious clothing with the possible exception of the mantilla. (Here's the wiki article for a brief overview)A few, such as myself, wear scapulars. Few people notice this little "necklace" that I wear and most that do see it mistakenly call it jewelry. I have seen some whose scapulars are large and ornate with color embroidery of Mary. Mine is small and quite simple. One piece of cloth as a script "M". The other has a small drawing of Mary. I feel that this better embodies the idea behind this scapular. It is to remind me of my devotion to Mary and my aim to be more like her: modest and completely faithful to God. There is no need for everyone to see what I hold in my heart. Anyway, it's difficult to explain why I think wearing this will help me gain favor with Our Lady. I don't know how I would respond if an employer asked me to not wear it. I would feel naked and vulnerable. I would worry what Mary would think of me if it was so easy to convince me to take off this symbol of my love. I think it would feel almost as odd as a married person being required to take off their wedding ring. What it symbolizes is so much more important than any job or any person.

Well, my brain isn't getting anywhere past this. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel like the sinners in Milagros de Nuestra Señora. I have this crazy idea that if I love God and Mary and show that through daily prayer that I might have a chance to be forgiven of my sins when it is my turn to be judged. Then again, I might be off my rocker. It's always a little hard to tell with me.