Death and Memories

I received an e-mail today that I see all too often: "[My University] Mourns the Death of a Student". Reading that line filled my head with memories. As an undergrad in my second year, a new friend died suddenly in a car crash while driving back to school after a weekend at home. Nobody found out why she crashed into that tree that day. I was called by the school newspaper because she was a freshman and I was her Resident Assistant. They wanted to know what she was like. What could I say? I stumbled over some words about her beauty that shone through her smile and her love of reading and horses. What I wanted to say is that she was someone that, after meeting once, I had wanted to become close friends with. We had so much in common! We were both bubbly people that wanted to open our hearts to everyone. I thought that we were going to be close friends. I was wrong. I couldn't go to the funeral; I felt stupid for mourning someone I barely knew.

Death has never been too far away. Just a month after graduation, a close friend died. She had had heart surgery as a child and one night her heart just stopped. When I heard the news, my legs fell from underneath me. There was no way that a 21 year-old dancing, singing, loving girl could die.  That night, my friends became family. We had no one to help us through it except each other. Our families were scattered around the country so we turned to each other. It's been over a year since she started a dance party in heaven and I still miss her so much.

My sister was able to go to visit our first home, Virginia, a week or two ago. While there she visited the grave of our sister, Michelle. That's the last memory I have of Virginia, visiting that cemetery. I was four years old, almost five. I felt bad for leaving her all by herself. We had no other family there. Who would visit her? I think I'm the only sibling who has not gone back yet. I want to go see the house we lived in and visit Michelle. I want to place a stone on her place marker to let her know and anyone who sees her that she has not been forgotten. She will always be loved.